How Walking away changed my life
How I learned to walk away.
I’ll be then first to admit, I suffered from real bad Fomo. Ever since I was a young girl I wanted to be out with friends doing something every night. The night I stayed it was the most fun night there ever was. That’s literally how my mind worked. When I lived in nyc, it only got worse. Because every night was the most fun. There was always something going on. New York is the place, that anything can happen. And I repeatedly had situations that were so comical, out there, and hilariously bizarre.
When I got pregnant with Lewis, I still didn’t want to miss a thing. I would go out and try to make the scene with Garrett. Substituting my G&T’s for sparkling water with lemon. I would be out, only to find that being around alcohol and people drinking it, was not as fun as it was pre pregnancy. I slowly started to figure out life would be changing.
The idea of a baby, my very own baby, was so foreign to me. With your first child it’s hard to understand and realize what your body is doing. Of course I knew I was growing a little life. But what I didn’t know was how all consuming the love would be. That all other thoughts other than caring for this little human, were pushed to the side. He is my night out, my adventure, and every new experience I want. Which brings me to my point.
Becoming a mother has taught me a couple key things in life. I may have reached them at a different time in my life, but I think I figured them out early because of my son. Walking away from experiences, relationships, and situations that aren’t positively enforcing my family, are a complete waste of time. Those happy hour drinks with people that will never be family. The friendship that’s emotionally draining. The time spent caring about what other people (that I don’t care about) think. All of those things take time and energy I know longer wanted to devote. Instead I get to kiss my well adjusted son goodnight almost every night. I get to bring my family to experience music and nature together. I get to introduce my son to people I want him to look up to and strive to be.
My life has so positively changed in the last 2 years. My family just came to visit, and they joked about how they don’t even recognize the girl that used to live in nyc. Who lived day to day not a care in the world. Not I’m a woman who is educated in things that interest me (health and fitness). I’m a woman working to lay down roots. I’m a mother who wants to make her children grow up to be happy and good people. I’m a dreamer, with goals and aspirations to fill. Walking away, and continuing to be able to walk away has changed my life.